QUERY LETTERS
QUERY LETTERS
… ARE SO FUN.
I mean it.
The querying process can be draining and discouraging in several ways, but I actually genuinely loved writing my query letter. I think query letters are such a fun way to understand what your book is all about, and a good way to test if it’s doing what you want. In a query letter, you have to succinctly outline your characters, setting, stakes, and obstacles. Query letters are like the jacket copy of your book, meant to entice a person into reading more. I actually write my query letters before I’m even done writing the book because there’s no better way to understand what the whole thing’s about.
Without further ado, let’s break it down!
PARAGRAPH 0:
“I am writing to query you for my dual-POV YA contemporary fantasy novel, THE DEAD AND THE DARK. Based on your history of representing books that [insert reasons that you want to query this specific agent], I believe you will be a good fit to represent my book.”
I call this paragraph zero because it’s easy and it’s not really about your book. It’s about you, your career, and what you want in a partnership. The first paragraph is an introduction. I’ve seen some articles recommending that you jump right into the plot of the book and leave all the technical/logistical info for the end, I don’t agree with that advice at all.
If you were at a conference and a person walked up to you and yelled “MY MAIN CHARACTER’S NAME IS JOE AND HE’S BEEN CHOSEN TO SAVE THE WORLD,” you’d be a little thrown off. The same thing is true in a query letter.
I always start with a paragraph explaining why I’m querying the specific agent I’m querying, whether it be their #MSWL, their other clients, their like on a pitch tweet. This should also be your shortest paragraph; you don’t have to write the agent a ballad about why they’re perfect for you. Just write a few quick sentences saying what drew you to them, and then go!
This makes the next paragraph less abrupt and tells the agent what to expect.
PARAGRAPH 1:
“As the daughter of "America’s First Gay Reality TV Ghost Hunters,” Logan Ortiz-Woodley is accustomed to a life of LA luxury and semi-fame. But when her fathers’ show is defunded, Logan is forced to move to Snakebite, the rural Oregon town where her fathers grew up. And Snakebite is everything she expects—big trucks, country music, and rampant homophobia-- but something deeper and darker is at work in Snakebite, too. After the disappearance of the town’s golden-boy, Logan’s fathers become the prime suspects in a murder investigation that shatters Snakebite’s peaceful facade.”
So, in paragraph one, the work starts! In this paragraph, there’s a handful of things you want to be doing, and you don’t have a lot of space to do them.
The first thing is character. My book has two POV characters, so I had to make a decision about which character to lead with. You might be tempted to throw all of your POV characters in your setup paragraph, but this can be confusing and hard to follow. Pick one character - the one with the highest stakes and/or the arc most closely tied to the plot of the book - and frame the query around their journey.
The next thing is the normal. What is your character’s life like as of the first page of your book? And what event has caused their life to change in a way that causes your story? Spend as little time on the normal as possible. We don’t need a full paragraph on the protagonist’s life before the book starts - there’s a reason it’s a changing!
The third thing you want to do is talk about the setting. Depending on the kind of story you’re writing, this doesn’t have to be a description of a place. In a romcom, this might be a description of the emotional environment your protagonist is in. This third piece just needs to give us an idea of the world around your MC.
Finally, give us a taste of the big conflict. What is the big, bad inciting incident that is going to change your MC’s life forever? This sentence is meant to launch the reader into the second paragraph.
In my example letter, I started with a brief setup of who Logan is, what’s changing in her life, and where she’s going now. You don’t need to give physical details, backstory, or anything else that will bog the letter down. Try to condense these points down as much as possible. A query letter is only meant to be a sampler for what your pages will offer.
Just character, setting, and setup.
PARAGRAPH 2:
“Enter Ashley Barton, girlfriend of the missing boy and daughter of Snakebite’s self-appointed leader. Like everyone else in town, Ashley suspects the Ortiz-Woodleys are involved in her boyfriend’s disappearance, until she sees Tristan’s ghost and an evil she never thought she'd see in Snakebite rises to the surface. With Ashley’s knowledge of Snakebite and Logan’s knowledge of the paranormal, the girls work must together as reluctant allies to solve Tristan’s disappearance and stop the killer that stalks Snakebite.”
In paragraph two, you dig into the meat of your book. Notice that I didn’t even mention my second POV character until this paragraph? This is when you tell the agent(s) the juicy plot stuff. If my first paragraph explained Logan and Snakebite and the missing boy, my second paragraph is meant to introduce the main conflict of the book and what’s at stake for my characters. Just like paragraph one, I’ll break this one down:
Start with an obstacle. Even though Ashley is my other POV character, I’m framing my query around Logan’s narrative, which makes Ashley a barrier. In a fantasy/scifi query, this is where you would introduce your villain. In a romcom, this is where you would introduce that pesky thing in the LI’s past that keeps them from being with the MC. Logan wants to keep her head down in Snakebite, and Ashley’s suspicions make that impossible.
Next, touch on the first big plot event of the book. For me, this is Ashley seeing Tristan’s ghost and Logan/Ashley working together. This event is the thing that forces your MC to get involved in the plot. It’s the thing that makes it impossible for them to turn away from the conflict. Don’t go into a ton of detail - just give enough info to justify why this character has to deal with this plot.
And that’s really all paragraph two has to do! Give us the thorn in your MC’s side, and tell us why they can’t run away.
PARAGRAPH 3:
“While her fathers work to clear their name, Logan digs into the dark history of Snakebite and discovers she may know less about her family than she thought. As Ashley fights her way closer to Tristan, her every step is haunted by Snakebite’s traditions of hate and exclusion. As the death toll rises, Ashley and Logan realize that their only chance of survival is each other.”
Finally, in paragraph three, we get the good stuff. This is the paragraph that tells the agent what will grab them. The name of the game is stakes. What does your character stand to gain from this plot, and what do they stand to lose? Logan is unraveling her family, Ashley is unraveling her town, and both of them are wading dangerously close to literally dying.
The important thing about outlining your stakes is making sure you have internal and external stakes. In my example, both Ashley and Logan are at the emotional risk of losing their sense of home. Externally, they’re in physical danger. A good story (and a good query letter) has both!
PARAGRAPH 4:
“THE DEAD AND THE DARK is a story of legacies of hate, painful family dynamics, and the way true connection can fight back impending darkness. It combines the atmosphere of Claire Legrand's SAWKILL GIRLS with the tangled small-town dynamics of the Christine Hermann's THE DEVOURING GRAY. As a queer woman, I am excited to combine queer characters with speculative fiction in a way I desperately wanted when I was a teen reader. I graduated from Pacific Lutheran University in 2016 with a degree in Creative Writing and Publishing. THE DEAD AND THE DARK is complete at 100,000 words. Per your submission guidelines, I have attached the first [x] to this email..”
So, now we get the technical stuff. This is probably the most subjective part of my format, but stay with me. I’ll outline below.
First, I give the name of the book and what I believe the theme is. Some people don’t like to talk theme because they believe it’s clear from the earlier paragraphs. I think outlining theme here ties the whole thing together. But, that’s up to you!
Next, the always-intimidating comps. My method for picking comps is simple; make them recent, make them relevant, and make them realistic. You want something that came out within the last 2-5 years, something that sold well, and something that was sold to the same readership that would read your book. The last part is the most important, because it tells the agent reading the letter that you understand your market and who you’re writing for.
Third, talk about you! You’re the author. Any experience, prior publication, or other relevant information you can provide. This is pretty straightforward, but make sure you don’t spend more time on this than you do on the book.
Last, give them the numbers. Word count and attached pages. Make sure you’re following submission guidelines to a T. Every agent/agency is different. I recommend keeping a spreadsheet to make sure you’ve got it right.
PUT IT ALL TOGETHER
Here’s my full query letter (with the markers):
[I am writing to query you for my dual-POV YA contemporary fantasy novel, THE DEAD AND THE DARK. Based on your history of representing books that [insert reasons that you want to query this specific agent], I believe you will be a good fit to represent my book.] INTRO
[As the daughter of "America’s First Gay Reality TV Ghost Hunters,” Logan Ortiz-Woodley is accustomed to a life of LA luxury and semi-fame.] CHARACTER [But when her fathers’ show is defunded, Logan is forced to move to Snakebite, the rural Oregon town where her fathers grew up.] NORMAL [And Snakebite is everything she expects—big trucks, country music, and rampant homophobia] SETTING [-- but something deeper and darker is at work in Snakebite, too. After the disappearance of the town’s golden-boy, Logan’s fathers become the prime suspects in a murder investigation that shatters Snakebite’s peaceful facade.] CONFLICT
[Enter Ashley Barton, girlfriend of the missing boy and daughter of Snakebite’s self-appointed leader. Like everyone else in town, Ashley suspects the Ortiz-Woodleys are involved in her boyfriend’s disappearance,] OBSTACLE [until she sees Tristan’s ghost and an evil she never thought she'd see in Snakebite rises to the surface. With Ashley’s knowledge of Snakebite and Logan’s knowledge of the paranormal, the girls work must together as reluctant allies to solve Tristan’s disappearance and stop the killer that stalks Snakebite.] PLOT EVENT
[While her fathers work to clear their name, Logan digs into the dark history of Snakebite and discovers she may know less about her family than she thought. As Ashley fights her way closer to Tristan, her every step is haunted by Snakebite’s traditions of hate and exclusion.] INTERNAL STAKES [As the death toll rises, Ashley and Logan realize that their only chance of survival is each other.] EXTERNAL STAKES
[THE DEAD AND THE DARK is a story of legacies of hate, painful family dynamics, and the way true connection can fight back impending darkness.] THEME [It combines the atmosphere of Claire Legrand's SAWKILL GIRLS with the tangled small-town dynamics of the Christine Hermann's THE DEVOURING GRAY.] COMPS [As a queer woman, I am excited to combine queer characters with speculative fiction in a way I desperately wanted when I was a teen reader. I graduated from Pacific Lutheran University in 2016 with a degree in Creative Writing and Publishing.] AUTHOR [THE DEAD AND THE DARK is complete at 100,000 words. Per your submission guidelines, I have attached the first [x] to this email.] NUMBERS
So, there it is! I truly hope this helps, and as always, this is only a template. Every story is different, meaning this template should always be tweaked a little so that it fits. The most important thing to remember is that, even though this seems like a lot crammed into a tiny letter, you’re only covering up through the first third-or-so of your book. This is not a synopsis - you don’t want to outline the whole plot. It’s just meant to draw a reader in.
Your pages have to do the rest.
As always, if you have any questions, please drop them below, send them through my contact page, or DM me at @gayowyn on Twitter!